I am taken by the most wonderful person I have ever met.
Follow me; I follow back. :)
when you have unlimited texting but only text two people.
(Source: niallscrocodile, via battered-barbie)
in 4th grade my friend and i did an experiment for science class and we wanted to see how different kinds of music affected fish so we bought a fish and put it in a bowl and then we started playing screamo and the fish DIED
i laUGHED AT THIS FOR 3 HOURS
did you put water in the bowl
(Source: nintendoki, via battered-barbie)
THE BEST PART ABOUT WII FIT GIRL BEING IN THE NE WSMASH BROS IS THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SHIP HER WITH OTHER CHARACTERS
PEOPLE WILL WRITE EROTIC FANFICTION ABOUT THE WII FIT TRAINER
TRULY THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE ALIVE
“Ah. Link. What are we going to do on the bed.” said Wii Fit Trainer with her forever-deadpan voice.
“HYAAA HYEEH YAAAAAH” Link replied enthusiastically.
(via battered-barbie)
oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug.
i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat
am i a bad person
(via i-want-to-be-a-cat-one-day)
do you think old people judge each other on who has the best walking frames and wheelchairs
(via i-want-to-be-a-cat-one-day)
if you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too
(via i-want-to-be-a-cat-one-day)
im still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature
(Source: catswithbenefits, via i-want-to-be-a-cat-one-day)
if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right
yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off
This isn’t even that funny I’m just drink blogging
(Source: yourenotaheroyourealiar, via i-want-to-be-a-cat-one-day)
Stripper in Clearwater, FLA showing the judge that her bikini briefs were too large to expose her vagina to the undercover cops that arrested her. The case was dimissed.
(Source: charleswhiskey, via look-at-that-turtle)
I hate it when you are having a bad day and everyone takes it personally, like no i hate myself, not you. get the fuck over yourself.
wow i’m actually so glad this post has been made
(via look-at-that-turtle)